Sex Talk from People who Have Sex…

Forget leaving behind a corporate job of ten years and the ‘security’ of the American Dream, it seems that people always just want to get down to the details of what our life must have been like in an RV with 1/2″ door.  Basically, the golden question – ‘How do you have sex?

Never before in our ‘in the box’ lifestyle would people have dared asked this question, but since we’ve been opened up through media and blogs people just assume this is a question that we love to answer.  Which honestly, we do.  Who else gets a  free pass to talk about sex so openly and comfortably in their everyday lives?  Talk about opportunity to embellish ~ ‘Well, it gets hard when we try to fit more than four people in with us…or from the stripper pole I can single handedly make my man happy while changing the TV‘.

Now that we have a home base, we haven’t been asked that question in over three years.  Till last night when me and my friend were sitting outside drinking wine and talking all things men and relationships.  Out of the blue, she turns to me and asks ‘how do you guys have sex?’  Totally off guard, my initial thought was reminiscent of those childhood pamphlets they give you in gym class where the lady opens her legs and he puts it in.

We still do live in a small place so I can see where she is coming from, but I’m pretty sure it’s standard sheetrock and solid doors like all other houses.  But the fact that it’s a small house her curiosity was genuine and I love friends who will flat out ask you what they want to know.  She asked ‘do you make noise?’ – I’m really laughing and loving this now and she’s so adorable sitting there with this curious face waiting for an answer.  Prepare to be blown away Lauren…because we rock the shit out of sex.  😉

Yes, we make noise.  Even if it’s three in the afternoon we make a lot of noise. If the kids are home, we still make noise.  We all have those stories, we’re just doing our part to add to our kids arsenal of stories they get to tell.  We’ve had that loud noise making kind of sex that afterwards, you stand at the door ready to open it and make a mad dash to the bathroom so you don’t have to make eye contact with the kids who are ready to make fun of you.  But, we do try to keep it down because we live in a neighborhood that has an active neighborhood watch program.

We have sex.  We have hot sex, sweaty sex, slow sex, shower sex, living room sex, bathroom sink sex, after the gun range kind of sex, Angelina Jolie kind of sex, married sex, animal sex (not that kind…the other kind), romantic sex, drunken sex, Amsterdam sex, and naked sex.

We’ve had sex in lots of states, friends houses, cars, buildings, airplanes (just kidding, not yet), boats, Whole Foods, backyards, parking lots, casinos, deserts, and places that I’m not allowed to list due to the heightened terrorist watch list.  I love my country.

We’ve had the obligatory sex where we both weren’t feeling up to it, but had nothing else to do, so we had sex.  We’ve had the kind of sex where it’s borderline one night stand.  We’ve also had the kind of sex where we’ve ended up with little humans.

We have the kind of sex that is open and honest, apparently to the world, and we have the kind of sex that is not shameful – despite some of our conservative religious upbringing that taught us it’s shameful and full of sin… not my sex.  My sex is good and American.  And non-profit. But full of rapid rewards.  Enrollment is free, but call now.

So, thank you beautiful Lauren for making me smile and laugh last night and this morning as I write this blog.

We’re having sex as I write this.

ABC Nightline piece documenting two Americans having sex on US soil.

9 Replies to “Sex Talk from People who Have Sex…”

  1. This is hilarious. We have a dream of selling the house and going on an extended road trip — in fact, we have the bus sitting in our yard waiting for us to just get brave enough — and I admit one of things I wonder about is that 1/2″ plywood door. I’m not even sure that it’s rational considering that we already have a thin door (just wood slats) to our bedroom, and my twelve-year-old’s bed is right on the other side of the wall from ours, and the other bedroom is three steps away. They’ve got to have heard us by now, right? Guess I need to get over it. For most of the history of the world this has been the way of things, after all, and surely it’s better than wondering if your parents have ever had sex at *all* — I’m 43 years old, and I’m still not sure about that.

    1. They’ve heard you (-;
      How is it that sex became bad?
      Oh yeah.
      We went to Amsterdam and were amazed at the openness of it all. The experience that really stands out is walking through the red light district and the kids playing in the street – because they live there. One brother & sister were standing in front of a sex shop window with explicit pics right behind them. Totally normal. Loved it.

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