THE VIDEOS

Daytime touring

The spooky tour

THE TEXT STUFF

The Queen Mary is docked in Long Beach, California and when we were there in April ’02 we went on a tour.  The tour was fun, educational, and at times scary.

The bow of the ship is in the front and it is big and it has letters on it that spell Queen Mary which also happens to be the name of the ship that we went to visit.

This view is from the stern at the back of the boat that has pretty red stacks with black tops and the picture was taken at 12:22:43pm on our tour of the big pretty ship.. It is bigger than the Titanic and was built and operated by the same people at Cunard.

Here is the ship’s bell. It was on the ship and it’s a bell that goes ding dong very loudly but not anymore.

A picture of one of the pretty red smokestacks with the black top. We wanted to climb inside of them but the mean guy said no.

The ship is now a hotel even though it does not go anywhere and this is a picture of the kids standing in front of the hallway leading to some rooms.  There were a lot of rooms on the ship and they all had doors and toilet paper. We got to go into one of the bigger rooms where people like President Roosevelt stayed and probably wiped his own butt.

This is a view from a portal in one of the rooms looking at Long Beach which should be called over populated industrial ugly stinky beach full of people that look at you funny when you eat boogers.

This is a huge map hanging in the dining room, it shows the route from the United States to Europe but it’s not a real picture like the satellites take and the sun is fake too so we threw food.

On the deck of the ship is bugs and bird poo that doesn’t really smell but it’s not a very nice color of white even though it’s milky.

Greg’s grandma stole one of  these chairs from the Queen Mary when she and her husband took a cruise way back in ancient times before the dinosaurs started sinking Titanics.

Ditty and Bo were on the cruise in 1967 when Greg was delivered to his mommy and daddy by the stork that dropped him on his head. Bo died in ’77 and Ditty is now like 500 years old or something and loves to eat chocolate and likes Austins Lego’s.

In World War II, the Queen Mary was used to transport troops from America to Europe and housed thousands of soldiers, but they were not on vacation and probably didn’t eat caviar and drink wine and get drunk but probably got drunk on cheap beer and ate oatmeal.

During one of the trips hauling soldiers to Europe, the Queen Mary ran into one of the ships that guides it along and cut it in half and many men died.

The Queen Mary was known as the Grey Ghost because it was so fast that this other ship didn’t know and lost.

It would’ve been better if the Titanic had hit that dinosaur head on like this instead of running alongside it.

Then the dinosaur might’ve sunk and the Titanic might not have ever been made into a movie and Leo would be driving a truck or mopping floors.

They say the Queen Mary is haunted and these signs are all over the ship where there have been ghost sightings.

There’s one now and he followed us around with a microphone and yelled at us dramatically ~ but we paid for the abuse.

You there, shuddup!

The haunted tour takes you to the deep depths in the hull of the bottom of the ship where the damage occurred during the accident when the Queen Mary ran into the ship and broke it in half.

The kids were scared during the haunted tour, they didn’t take their fingers out of their ears or stop crying for the whole tour, the first time through.

Now you can see why. We went down, down, down. Darker, louder, and foggy.

Then the pipes burst and tons of steam came out and burned us and there was an explosion and the rats started swimming for shore and the kids were frozen screaming and the adults ran and the tour guide laughed all evil like.

Kesley wanted to leave but was paralyzed by the fear and the giant squid had her by the leg and the pirate skeletons were storming the bridge and the sharks were in a frenzy and the buzzards were circling…

And the water came rushing in and the ship sank and we all died.

Have a nice day.