Beverly Hills – May ’02

To get to Bev Hills from Malibu, it’s a short drive south on the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway / Highway One). Malibu is actually a very long city, something like 30 miles long and not wide. Many celebrities live in Malibu and on the way we passed the community of Pacific Palisades (Tom Cruise’s home). You also pass the north side of Sunset Blvd but it’s a really long, windy way to get into town.

So we took the Santa Monica Fwy sometimes makes a country girl blue ~ because you’re the reason God made Oklahoma you freakin’ idiot!

We like it here because of the energy and the creativity in this area.  It can be fruity and ridiculous at times, but who cares and it’s a great place to make fun of others that want the attention.  We take a look around and appreciate it for being something different than everything else.  It’s fun, it’s entertaining, it’s so Hollywood baby!!!

The Santa Monica Fwy actually passes through some expensive dumpy areas (not shown above). Our plan today was to drive around Beverly Hills and pop into neighborhoods like Bel-Air and anything else we could find famous. In other words, stalk. Lots of classic and modern day stars live right here.  Of course we bought the cheesy star map and followed it for a few hours.  When we are here we get excited to see people making something like this their life, but we’re always glad to leave.

Anybody recognize this guy? It’s one of those pictures we took thinking it would be cool for our friend Jay who rides a Ducati, but it’s not really. Unless you recognize him, he probably has a cool story like all of us.

On the way we saw Kid Rock driving around in a ’92 Hyundai. Maybe? No idea but we took her photo anyway. But believe us when we say our eyes are open for sightings ~ it happens. But we’re actually quite certain this was not Kid Rock, we think.

It does take this long to get from Malibu to Bev Hills. We were patient, so you should be to.

No U-Turns… the stars are near…

Home of the Osbournes.  We found their old house from season one, but didn’t find out where their new one was, only because we’re lazy though. We could find it if we wanted to ya know. But we don’t. So there.

Beverly Hills High School right in the middle of the day.  So what do we do?  We walk in to check out where some of the local stars have attended high school.  The kids were freaking out thinking we were going to get busted, but they soon realized just how good we are as ‘backstage professionals’ at this point in our career.

It was probably freakier that Greg sat in the car in front of the school shooting pictures.

We walked through the halls and it was typical.  Students and lockers.  Nothing more, nothing less.  But we were there, oh yes, we were there.

Then we were on El Camino drive baby. That’s right, the world famous El Camino drive. Woo hoo! We have arrived! Let’s go shopping on El Camino drive ~ they have Goodwiiiiiiiiiill… and Salvation Armyyyyyyy… and Pay Less Shoessssssss… and Ross Dress for Lessssssss… and the dollar stooooooore…

And hot chicks on the next block, how do you say? Row-day-ohhhhh….. As were walking through the streets of Beverly Hills we certainly felt underdressed in our tourist outfits from Goodwill.

But our ’74 VW fit right in.

Greg drove off without us.  Just kidding, you can’t tow a Porsche!

That lady stole Jenn’s hat.  That ain’t right lady, that just ain’t right.

Take a look at the diversity in this picture right in the heart of Beverly Hills.  See the junker car in the background, we can probably tow that one. And almost had to…

Because we were staring too long at people we got a parking ticket.  Try $38 dollars!

This neighborhood is in Beverly Hills but it’s really hard to see the way cool mansions and such.  There are some pretty fancy houses and cars here, bet they don’t let you park an RV in your driveway.

The famous Witch House is in the middle of all these mansions and has been featured on several movies including some Disney movies.  You would recognize some of the titles but we forgot which ones they were so make some up and tell your friends.

The houses here are just so freaking cool and we felt like stalkers driving slowly out in front of them. Our camera was too cheap to look like paparazzi. Our car is too loud to look like thieves. Honking and screaming LOSERS!’ and throwing trash out our window seemed to help.

We also drove around and found OJ’s house and the townhome where, well, you know…

The Beverly Hills Hotel on the corner of Beverly and Sunset with a streetlight and tree is in tons of movies and the happening spot for anything going on in Beverly Hills.  The Osbournes renewed their vows here, tons of Hollywood parties are hosted here, and many famous people stay here while in town.  It is a beautiful place with walking paths to all the cabanas where people like Marilyn Monroe and many others have stayed. Let’s go crash it…

The hotel is very exclusive and only the rich and famous are welcome.

When you pull in to park this is a typical scene.  The valet service approaches you to park your car even if you have a 74 Volkswagen Thing.  That’s hilarious to us and we just tell them ‘no thanks, where’s the free parking?’  Around back with the service vehicles?  Ok, thanks!’

So we went in ~ maybe they thought we were ‘service people’. We walked around and were admiring the beauty of this place and taking photos when no one else was around.  Don’t want to look like tourists. Just service people, with kiddos.

Even the bathroom is awesome, Jenn and the girls spent about thirty minutes looking around and playing with everything in there.  There are no paper towels, only fine little high count thread towels of your non Target type. Very tempting to take, but we’re honest, mostly.

Can you believe we think we don’t look like tourists?  What the heck would you do in a situation like that?  Gahhh…

OK, maybe Sunny doesn’t, but the rest of us blew her cover and had security remove her from the premises.

Yep, we look like tourists that think they are quietly pretending to be paying guests (not service workers) that are nonchalantly hanging out in the lobby waiting to see someone famous walk in.  For about an hour we kept this act up.  And no, we did not see anyone famous.

So we continued our drive up to the hills along Mulholland where Tommy Lee lives, and we saw Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinellis driveway, and pulled up to Quincy Jones house and honked and waved then the boys peed on a bush nearby. We also found Jackie Chan’s house and the place where the address should’ve been for the Tate-Bianca murders, but ‘they’ don’t want us to know anymore.

Just another cool house in the hills.  Don’t know whose it is, but it is cool. Can you find the person walking around? We tossed some peanuts his way and he threw poo at us.

The views from the ridge are spectacular. Except for the smog.

Everywhere. That’s smoggy downtown L.A. It feels as gross as it looks.

How many live here? Don’t know. Maybe we’ll find out if we get sued for posting their picture. Ten bucks says it’s one lonely guy… But that’s an assumption and we shouldn’t be making those while following The Four Agreements… okay, we’re back on now. Lovely house, eh?

This house was built by Cher, then became Eddie Murphy’s place, and now Prince has it (according to our two year old star map).  Oh, we mean the artist formerly known as Prince.  But now he is back to Prince.  According to his reps.

After looping around the hills we ended up on Sunset blvd and headed back to Malibu by way of Bel Air. This is a gated community because apparently some prince lives there.

Sunny did the hula with her two dollar dress from a local thrift shop somewhere in Hollywood.  That is more like barenakedfamily style ~ two dollars, some great music, and gettin down with da hula.

It is fun to see all the glamour and excitement in a place like this, but as we have learned from being ‘barenaked’, we have to find our own glamour and excitement.  Sometimes it’s really easy to look around and think that others have more than we do and ask why are they able to do what they do? ~ but really what’s stopping any of us from getting what we want?  Is it our words, perhaps?  We look around and wonder these same things, but as we chase the things that make us happy we are starting to find more and more peace with less, for Family.  Even if it’s not the same as what other people have, it’s ours and it’s true.  Now go and do the hula.  We love you.

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