1994. A year without pictures, apparently.

I’ve loaded this post with videos from this 1994 playlist. These are clips from our Hi8 home videos cut down to nine videos totaling 2hrs from what was over 8 hours of raw video.

There are no pictures of us from this time, apparently your pops thought video would be enough.

1994 started like any other year for us without you. A lot of partying (while trying to adult and parent). So glad we made it.

The Texas A&M Bonfire was a tradition for the rivalry with UT Austin

We think Austin was conceived in November of 1991 at the A&M bonfire in College Station, Texas.
You’ll want to view these quick: 1988 vid / wiki. It was bigger than you’re thinking.

We ended up in a cul-de-sac of frat houses.
We made a furniture bonfire in the middle and screamed.
We tripped acid and banged on *’Uncle’ Jeff’s bathroom sink.
We got a lot done that night.

*’Uncle’ because I don’t think y’all know this guy. I grew up with him, one of my best friends. Our parents got married, but we’re all broken because the 70s and 80s just did that. It’s why the music is better.


New Years Eve 1991/’92 we partied in San Antonio and ended up on the roof with ‘Uncle’ Jeff after your pops ex-girlfriend threw a margarita on mom. We probably didn’t know we were pregnant with Austin.
New Years Eve 1992/’93 Austin was a few months old and we watched the NYC ball drop from the console TV on Dorchester through rabbit ears antennae.
New Years Eve 1993/’94 is the first video below.

Apparently we were trying to capture something we thought we lost.

New Years Eve 1993/’94

December 31, 1993 Austin would’ve been just over 15 months old. Stashed in the bedroom sleeping, we partied with our friends at your first house, 6303 Dorchester in Austin.

Melissa (mom’s bff) brought baby Ashley, so you were as ‘safe’ as any baby was in 1993. You may recognize ‘Uncle’ Jeff from pictures (Grandpa Perry’s son), and Melissa. The weed friend was there. A cowboy dad worked with. Someone that reminds of us Blaine from Pretty in Pink. The girl with the cat. The hot mess couple. We haven’t stayed in touch with any of these folks. Babies are better.

New Years Eve 1993 Home Video Clips

At the Dorchester house in Austin, Texas
0:00 Cam setup in the den. The cowboy is Jack, a friend from Dell. Also Melissa, Porfi, and baby Ashley.
0:19 Cam setup on the TV in the living room. Lisa, Mike’s mom became ‘Uncle’ Jeff’s wife (next to Jenn).
0:47 ‘Uncle’ Jeff. He was roommating with us at the time. ‘We don’t have MTV’
1:49 going to the front yard to scream in the new year (so we don’t wake the babies?!?). Also, gunshots.
3:23 burning the xmas tree in the alley out back.
4:59 Melissa, mama’s bff.

New Years Eve 1994/’95 and subsequent years did not go the same for us. Y’all changed our lives in every way.

Wait for it… and thank you.


January & February 1994

Dad was working at Dell on a late shift. Probably 3p-11p. Mom stayed home with Austin after a run of jobs that couldn’t pay for the child care; or found us passing each other on the way to work.

We liked each other and you too much for this shit. She also got paid to hang out with kids, which she would’ve paid for. We like kids. Except dickhead kids. Can’t pay enough for shit parenting, and some kids are just dicks anyway. Mike was cool.

This is also when we were getting to know your mom’s dad in Port Aransas. He was living in the houseboat behind the sailboat at the end of this vid.

Jan & Feb 1994 Home Video Clips

At the Dorchester house in Austin, Texas. Ending in Port Aransas.
0:00 @2am in the living room with Austin & Black
0:33 @340am Dad creeping on Austin & Mom sleeping in the water bed.
1:00 In the kitchen, Austin in the high chair. Mom washing dishes. Cabinet doors off for clean & paint. We scrubbed those damn hinges and handles for days. To the backyard with Mike and Jeff.
2:36 Bathtub w/Austin. Kitchen remodel. More kitchen. Too much kitchen.
5:28 #funny Cops. Black and Kiki.
7:50 Feb 10. A rare snow in Austin!
7:58 Austin falling asleep on mom.
9:58 Austin playing w/Kiki in the den.
12:06 In the living room jamming with Mike, soon to be ‘Uncle’ Jeff’s stepkid. Your mom cared for him late nights while his mother worked.
12:34 in the kitchen playing with Austin.
15:28 Port Aransas. Jenn’s dads sailboat. Fishing. On the playground.


March, April 1994

We used to go to the beach at Port Aransas to party – ‘The Island, Port A’. Spring Break was the big one. Since you homeschooled and you may not know, Spring Break is an annual week out of public school. We made it a big deal.

Port A was closest to San Antonio, a real party island. Turns out your grandad lived there, and the ‘Port A, Where They Bite Everyday’ shirts came from half-fast boat works – your Dubose side of the family. Again, mom did not grow up there. She didn’t even know about these folks until ’93, ’94.

Some grandparent down there was baby-sitting for us. Probably Jenn’s mom & stepdad in Corpus. Your Grandad, Danny was still living the single life, we think.

Lorraine is a friend of ours from San Antonio that we got with on this trip, and somehow got wrangled into bailing her out of jail.

She was a girlfriend of one of the bands your dad worked with in the 80’s. The lead guitar player of LIXXX. Seriously. They did hair metal covers. The bass player was Andy, Greg’s neighbor growing up and your mom’s crush before we knew each other. They were all connected through her uncle Johnny Lightning and her drama teacher, Kenny Frazier.

It’s a small world. One where we had to bail her out of jail, spend an extra night in a shitty motel, and drive her home to San Antonio.

March, April 1994 Home Video Clips

Port Aransas. Corpus Christi. Austin, Dorchester house.
0:00 Port Aransas Ferry, Spring Break. Drive into town. Pat Magee’s.
00:58 Port Aransas Spring Break 1994. Midnight drive on the beach.
4:06 Port Aransas Ferry line off the island.
5:41 Cheap Corpus Christi Motel ($21?). Just picked up our friend from jail.
8:25 Dorchester house driveway. Mom’s birthday, going for a perm. The early ’90s were basically the ’80s.
12:13 In the kitchen & den. Around the house.
13:47 In the den. Austin falling asleep off the couch.
14:41 Kiki dropped in the bath.

Turns out uploading this video reminded me of these photos from 1992 scans, probably taken from someone else’s camera:

August 1994

Dad started working days again somewhere around here. Promoted and supervising and more money. I was good with people. Your mom was teaching me to be a good father and husband. Teaching me to really enjoy kids and family.

This video reminds me of what an idiot father and husband I was. I look aloof on the couch midway. Learning. By the end, I can see and feel you to this day, my son. You are my favorite man.

All thanks to your mom who got pregnant with Kesley this year around May.

August 1994 Home Video Clips

At the Dorchester house in Austin, TX.
0:00 Austin & mom playing in the den.
1:49 @11pm in the den. Testing the video camera that dad fixed.
3:57 In the kitchen showing off some fancy dressing up. Not sure where we would’ve been going.
5:06 Through the house and outside in the rain. The big blue Dodge (1974 Coronet from Grandads mom).
6:37 #funny Watch this!! Kiki chasing Austin and a parental setup.
8:24 Austin in dad’s NASCAR Official hat from working Alamo Dragway in San Antonio.
9:05 Dad waking Austin up.


September 1994

Austin, your birthday month. Sep 5, turning the magical two years old. You did not become terrible, you became infinitely more likeable as you have throughout your life (except 17. You were a prick).

Big month for us. Making good money. Taking free time. Working weekends at the NASCAR track in San Antonio. Spending money and collecting some good stuff we had never had. Kind of adulting pretty good.

Your mom had me dialed in. Her crazy ass cousin, Michelle left the country. This was the start of some really good years.

September 1994 Home Video Clips

San Antonio, Sea World. Port Aransas. Dorchester. Alamo Dragway, San Antonio. Mueller Airport, Austin (the old airport by Dorchester).
Austin’s birthday weekend.
0:00 9/3 @1253p Afternoon delight. Your parents just banged in a cheap motel. No shame.
0:48 9/4 @836a With your Grandma and Grandpa (mom’s parents) in the cheap motel when you got the Bert & Ernie dolls for your birthday.
1:17 9/4 @1033a Sea World San Antonio. Dolphins. Shamu & baby. Bird show. Water park. Seals. Budweiser Clydesdales. Aquarium.
6:10 9/5 @1248p Happy Birthday Austin! Your mom is seasick, deep sea fishing with Gary (a Dell friend connected to your Grands). ‘Robert Cummings’ mention was a guy we worked with.
6:42 9/13 @816p Dorchester in the extra bedroom playing. That ’70s couch was from the dead guys house, retired to that room after we got the updated ’80s furniture.
9:55 In the living room. Your mom preggo, in her underwear (she allowed this vid!?!). Showing off our new stereo and BIG TV. Seriously, this was some high end shit.
10:38 9/24 @142p In the living room; to another day in the kitchen with the bird. Yeah. We had a bird. Thought it loved us, so we eventually put its open cage on the back porch and never saw it again.
11:12 Alamo Dragway in San Antonio. Mom was working the VIP booth. Dad as an official on the track, spotter for turn two. I’m the one in the white shorts in a few shots. Gary was taking this shitty video. He disappeared with your moms cousin, Michelle to Paris. She never came back.
14:50 Alamo Dragway in the control booth. LISTEN. Your mom knows her shit about cars and racing. (don’t know exactly what she’s saying, but was describing something technical to Michelle).
14:57 9/22 @333p The old Austin Airport, Mueller. Dropping your moms cousin Michelle and her boyfriend Gary off at the airport for a one way trip to Paris. They were going to backpack Europe. Gary gave up and came back. Michelle stayed and had babies. She’s the one that crashed into a gas station with mom when they were teens. On purpose. And all those other stories.


October 1994

October 1994 Home Video Clips

Dorchester. Wimberly.
0:00 10/1 @941pm. With Mike on the back porch on the Ninja 600. A view of Dad’s High School car, the 1976 Camaro parked in the back. Very fast. A tour of the house and some of the art we collected, the Robert Sargent’s in the hallway! Dalhart Windbergs. Grandad’s shit in the back room when he lived with us. A cat named ‘Ami’ we think was dropped off with Rem when Michelle left the country.
2:14 10/25 @506p In the living room with the bird. Austin talking to Kes in the belly.
[2:27 #nsfw. One of the many reasons I fell in love with her. Sorry not sorry kids. Note the busted look.]
3:01 Living room playing Sega. Love the dance you two do.
5:05 10/28-29. Wimberly. Jan’s house before Grandad married her. He offered us a vacation weekend. Turns out she didn’t know, she expected dad there. There were clues. Always be great guests. Leave it better than you found it. Don’t invite a young family of three to sub-housesit for you when your older and single, and tell this young family that it’s a vacation. Sorry Jan.
7:52 10/30-31 Dorchester. With Grandma & Grandpa. Pumpkin carving and whitefacing Halloween (trying to be ghosts, but it somehow seems racist now?!?)


November 1994

Marriage is a lot of work. You guys remember us better than we were. Our fights were quiet. Uncertainties often. I always thought she’d leave me. She thought I’d cheat. We were young, trying to figure each other out, while fighting for our survival – individually and together.

We built together on the most beautiful vista. Abandonment our foundation. Seeing how we could LIVE together, while a clusterfuck of jobs, religion, news, and family feasted on our framework.

Focus on the Family was one of those orgs. Granny lives for evangelically saving souls. We were heathens.

Some of the best couples work we look back on came from these weekends where she would send us to their conferences. The framework solid, the foundation not ours. It got us talking, working together. Building our family and relationship based on Christian principles. We threw a lot out, but the good stuff is good.

I hope you find how to methodically work on yourselves and relationships. Grateful we didn’t give you traditional religion but hoping you continue to say your prayers, and always clap afterwards.

Maybe you should get baptized, just in case?!?

I also hope you never feel abandoned. We would love you even if you were Jeffrey Dahmer. A feeling we’ve never had.

November 1994 Home Video Clips

San Antonio. Austin, Dorchester.
0:00 11/20 @12p. Wyndham San Antonio (probably north, like 281 or IH10). Marriage & Family conference Granny used to send us to (a Focus on the Family thing). She had spies to make sure we attended. We mostly did. She would stay with you in Austin and try to save your soul. All of us really. Still is trying. God bless her. It was a really great vacation for us. And we learned.
3:23 #catfight. Living room. Kiki & Ami fighting. We don’t know what happened to Ami. We’re pretty sure Michelle left her with us, with Remington.
4:52 11/26 @817p. Living room. Bert & Ernie show, by mom. Note how she hands Ernie to Dad later. Bert was always her favorite.


December 1994

December 1994 Home Video Clips

Austin, Dorchester House and Windsor Park Neighborhood.
0:00 12/3 @1129a. Living room, bird in the Christmas tree. Lighting the tree.
2:20 12/11 @319p. Living room. Taco Bell. Austin loved putting his eyes in the camera lens. Rem and Ami.
3:12 12/11 @10p. Austin reading Dr Seuss. Mom read this book to you nonstop. You knew it well. Great shot of Kiki’s yellow eye and blue eye. She was beautiful.
6:02 12/20 @818p. Back porch. Swinging. The Big Wheel. Cats. Grilling. Papa and Austin fighting. Papa running you in that blue van (doors open because your feet went there when I pushed you fast).
11:40 In the kitchen with Grandad and groceries. At 80yo he still loves his weenies.
–Extracted ‘Dec 1994 Holidays Home Video Clips’ on another video—
12:14 12/29 @814p. Austin’s bedroom, new bed! Kes’ crib setup with Rem in it getting in trouble. Austin climbing the dresser. Playing with mom’s belly and Kes. Yes, that is dad hitting the pipe.
20:56 Kes moving. A LOT. Speed this up, it’s super weird. Austin doing ‘dinosaur go’.
23:25 12/31 @1104a. Living room. Getting excited about the Muppets. Bird play.
25:42 12/31 @216p Windsor Park playground. Bartholomew Park on 51st & Berkman looking ghetto, especially with the missing piece around 27:02.


December 1994 Holidays

A little insight into the abandonment. In our middle age, we still feel the brokenness of these homes. Fear from a childhood of parents not there. We kept trying. We keep trying… to protect ourselves. And all of you.

Your mom relates to her Grandma Rose as ‘mom’ because she was always there. Grandma Yvonne (Jenn’s bio mother) was young; her father, Danny gone until she found him. Her ‘mom’, Rose remains her foundation. Rose died a couple of years after this. Your mom cried watching these videos. Then laughed at how white my family is.

Danny (bio father) and Yvonne (bio mother) got together after your mom/Jenn found him around 1993(?). They got married and had Jake and Sissy. She’s not connected because she grew up with Rose as a ‘mom’; her abusive stepdad, and Yvonne (probably trying to figure her own life out). Yvonne (Grandma) and your mom have been trying to figure each other out since.

The White side was broken too. Grandad left when I was 10. Mom tried, but was always more connected to her animals and religion. When I followed and played along, things were good. When I didn’t, she recoiled and went silent. Abandoned ‘for my good’. She married into Perry when I was more of an adult (18? 20?).

I wish we all would’ve done better and given you guys more of an extended family. We wanted to. Would like to think we tried. Certainly f’d it up a LOT. Doing what we can to repair ourselves, to be better for others.

I hope these holidays look normal enough for your memories.

December 1994 Holidays Home Video Clips

San Antonio
0:00 12/24 @350p. Jenn/mom’s family: Grandma Rose’s house (Grandma, ‘mom’). Grandma Yvonne (mother) & Grandpa Danny (father). Jenn found Danny in 1993(?), this was still new since they got back together.
3:30 12/24 @658p. Greg/dad’s family: Grandpa Perry’s house (stepdad, ‘Uncle’ Jeff’s dad from New Years party). Granny (Mitty, dad’s mom). Josh (kid) with parents Carolyn, & Mark (Perry’s daughter and husband). Ditty and Honditty (Sisters. Ditty is Granny’s mom. A wonderful grandmother that raised your dad).
5:49 don’t miss Honditty’s voice. Beautiful, elegant, southern woman. Mom loved it for these reasons and thinks it’s also super creepy, like spooky movie style. Can’t argue that.
6:40 12/25 @854a. Christmas morning at Perry’s house.
7:52 Granny’s Farm – Mitty’s Farm – Judson Riding School – Valley Forge. This is where dad grew up. Ditty’s brick house next door to the stone house, my childhood home (7yo-17yo). Walking up the drive to the farm behind the houses.
9:44 #funny All hell breaks loose. Grumpy. The chicken. The dog. The redneck.
NOTE: That dog barking at the chicken, Radar – pretty sure this is the dog me and your mom met over at the hot rod shop, Z Car Center off Perrin Beitel. Perry’s other son, Lee ran that shop. I was working there after an ACU college run when your mom walked in with her miniskirt and bikini top. I was done.
10:56 The Slab. The old farmhouse. My earliest memories of Ditty (my grandma) where she lived with Bo (my grandad). Same one where y’all found red bricks. It was abandoned in the ’80s and burned down around then. We used the land for parking at the keg parties when I was Randall Pink Floyd.
13:32 #funny Mom’s banter. Listen carefully.


NEW YEARS EVE 1994 / ’95

Somewhere in that set of videos I said something about needing to get another camera, I hadn’t had one since getting the video camera.

So I give you this picture that I archived in some 1992 scans. No context, but I expect this is what all of our following New Years Eves have looked like.

In front of the TV, watching the ball drop with our best friends.

New Years Eve 1994/'95
New Years Eve 1994/’95. Probably (not)

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